


Thor and the Asgardian Cardboard of Doom

by shadynaiad



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, papercuts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-11
Updated: 2012-07-11
Packaged: 2017-11-09 16:09:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/457395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadynaiad/pseuds/shadynaiad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a prompt on avengerkink: "Papercuts, because even the biggest manly man demigod is defenseless against paper*</p><p>the only one on the team who can truly empathize is Steve. he offers kind words and a shoulder to cry on, reassuring Thor that This Happens To A Lot Of Guys and that acknowledging the pain in no way diminishes his masculinity.</p><p>Steve kisses it better and then they make out or something.</p><p>*I will also accept corrugated cardboard as a worthy opponent, because that shit HURTS"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thor and the Asgardian Cardboard of Doom

"Package for you," said Steve, as Thor wandered into the kitchen.

"Excellent! Darcy made mention of sending me a 'care package', this should be most amusing." Thor shook the package gently, and began peeling away the tape. Steve looked on with interest; from what he'd heard about Darcy, any gift she put together was bound to be entertaining.

“Odin’s beard!” said Thor, dropping the package and looking at his finger in surprise.

“What’s wrong? What’s in the box?” Steve, asked, picking it up. "Did the spork bite you?" Steve had no idea why Darcy had shipped Thor a spork, but perhaps it was a pop culture reference he'd missed. The trucker hat also baffled him, until he realized it had a lightning bolt on it. That probably made as much sense as anything, if one was using Darcy-logic. He was surprised there wasn't any bubble wrap. 

"No, it was not the contents of the box. It is a paper cut." 

Steve laughed. "A paper cut? You can't be hurt by bullets, how did a cardboard box hurt you?"

"It was my brother. I recognize his trickery now," Thor shook his hand and stuck his finger in his mouth. "By the gods, that hurts!" 

"Loki? How would he...." Steve trailed off. It just wasn't worth figuring out Loki's motivations. One day he was conquering the world, the next he was booby-trapping care packages. If Thor didn't think that was bizarre, he wasn't going to worry about it. 

"It is an Asgardian container; I should have noticed sooner. I believe I will need a band-aid." 

Steve shook his head. "An Asgardian paper cut. I don't think we have any Asgardian band-aids around."

"I do not find this as amusing as you do." 

Steve didn't think he'd ever heard Thor pout before. “Yeah, I get it. Nothing hurts worse than a paper cut, and cardboard, those are the worst. Do you want me to kiss it better?” he asked. 

“I do not see how that would help,” grumbled Thor, shaking his hand. 

Steve took Thor’s hand, and pressed the finger to his lips. "It's a Midgardian healing ritual, passed from mother to child. Did it help?" 

Thor still looked dubious. "Perhaps a little."

"Well, I'll have to try again, then," said Steve, gently wrapping a band-aid around Thor's finger. He kissed over the bandage, and then pressed his lips to the tip of the other fingers. “Better?”

A slow smile crossed Thor’s face. “I do sense a slight improvement.”

“Only slight?” Steve looked concerned. “I must not be doing this right. Maybe if I...” he kissed Thor’s palm, then his wrist, feeling Thor’s strong pulse just beneath the skin.

"Nay, Steve, I am certain your technique is fine. It was a grievous wound, after all. Without your assistance, I would surely have perished."

Steve stifled a laugh, looking at the box. "Yes. I see your foe was vicious indeed. Its corrugations know no mercy." 

“Truly, twas a dastardly foe.” 

“I hope it isn’t too severe for mere mortal healing,” murmured Steve, as his kisses moved up Thor’s arm to his shoulder. “A more intensive course of treatment may be in order.”


End file.
